May 13, 2008 I had a bad dream
I woke up this morning after having an incredibly lucid dream about an ex-friend. I had seen her while I was out running errands or getting some sort of service done, a pedicure or an oil change I really don’t remember what but I couldn’t remove myself from the situation because of the service being performed and instead I was forced to make eye contact. She looked at me as if I had done something horribly wrong to her and I quickly snipped back at her and said:
{Don’t look at me like I’m some evil person! You were the one that just stopped talking to to me after my divorce, you chose your “side” which I never forced you to do. It came naturally for you and that’s the end of it. You’re a fair weather friend and I don’t need that in my life. Just do me a favor and stop emailing my mother. Who do you think you are? You won’t talk to me but yet you’ll email my mother? Come on!}
The dream then gets a little violent because I slapped her in the face a couple times just to get my point across. She was crying and everything. I heard myself saying things that I couldn’t believe were coming out of my mouth even if it was a dream. I told her that I slapped her so that she would understand how hurt and angry I was. Like that’s a justification for hitting someone. I seriously couldn’t believe I was rationalizing my actions in the dream in that way.
Analysis:
I guess my subconscious mind really needed to let off some steam. I don’t really understand the whole getting a service done and not being able to avoid her but if I was analyzing it I’d say that the confrontation stems from my fear of running into these people that I am no longer friends with and how I would handle the situations.
